i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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