dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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