I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
