You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize