i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
he shaved USA in his pubs
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
