I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
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