I wish I could punch you in the face.
she looked like the before picture.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
