What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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