woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
