I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
