Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
