let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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