i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
