Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
