Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
