I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
