I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
