Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I have so many feelings about this burrito
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