You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
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Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
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One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
as a side note pls kill me
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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