i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
