we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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