Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes