Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.