He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED