He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
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Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
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Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.