Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
