Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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