return my video game
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
