Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
