i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
