So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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