Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
