and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
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