maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
