Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
