party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
