A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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