I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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