Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
