She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
