i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
No more Irish car bombs ever.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize