ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Omg I joined a choir last night...
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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