You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Randomize
