he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
