My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
