It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize