i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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