If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
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Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
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Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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