My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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