Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
