i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Randomize
