it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
