sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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