I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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