i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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