Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize