So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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