Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
