I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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