my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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