Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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