Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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